


Safe in Your Healing Arms

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Inappropriate Use of the Force, Multi, Pegging, Post-Episode: s01e15 Fire Across the Galaxy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex Toys, Threesome - F/F/M, Trust Issues, Xeno, sex is not therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: From the prompt: "The universe briefly gives Kanan Jarrus a damn break with a night of fun with two alien ladies he adores and who adore him back."





	Safe in Your Healing Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fandumbandflummery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandumbandflummery/gifts).



The sounds around him were wrong. Kanan had lived on this ship for over six years. He knew every hum, beep, and creak of the frame and systems, the warm flow of energy through the deck, even the cool silence of space outside the sturdy hull. He'd slept every night lulled into dreams with these noises, let them follow him into the deepest trances. He'd lost home after home in his youth and drifted from world to world after. Only here had he ever stayed long enough to grow accustomed to the background.

The _Ghost_ flew through hyperspace docked with another ship, and through the thin connection, echoes of the other vessel interrupted the comforting sounds of home. The Rebellion had heard their cry for help and stretched out a helping hand. Kanan worried what it would ask in repayment for the favor, and he worried more about how eager Hera seemed to be about expressing their gratitude.

He told himself these were the reasons he couldn't sleep tonight, and why the calm state he needed for meditation eluded him. The sounds on the ship were strange, and he was concerned about their future. That was all.

A spasm passed through his biceps and faded. He'd reluctantly accepted a medical checkup aboard the Rebellion ship to treat the lingering effects of his imprisonment and torture, and he'd only agreed to it to get Ezra into the room to patch up his own injuries. The droid said Ezra would have a scar and that Kanan might have intermittent tingling as his nerves repaired, and otherwise they were fine.

He was fine.

He couldn't sleep and he couldn't meditate because of the noise.

His ears were attuned to the sounds around him now, focusing on the discordant chaos of so many others tied to them. They were so close, he could hear voices. Did they have to dock with these guys?

He knew that voice, though, and she was close enough that his initial thought dropped. Hera was aboard the _Ghost_ and she was talking with someone. She was awake, too, and he no longer had to wonder if she was making contact with her mysterious friend Fulcrum, especially not when he recognized the voice that responded.

Associating with these Rebels would be nothing but noise. He twitched again.

Kanan left his quarters and headed for the crew lounge, following the voices. He thought about telling them to pipe down, but as he neared the room, his senses readjusted. The two women had been speaking quietly the entire time. His ears had lied to him, turning a low conversation into shouts.

He was completely fine.

He put on a smile, which came out as a grim smirk. Ahsoka's face had already turned towards the hatch. Hera didn't turn until he said, "Hi." Half-sprawled in her favorite chair, her head twisted at an angle to see him.

"Sorry. Did we wake you?" Other questions hung under the words, and a flurry of emotions. He'd always been good at sensing her moods, but he wasn't used to so complex a mixture, the simple joy she felt at seeing him each time now scrambled with worry, confusion, and guilt. Ahsoka, whose presence was far sharper in his mind, held her own emotional state behind a high wall as she watched him.

"No, I was just finishing meditating and heard you."

Ahsoka's expression told him she knew he was lying, but she gave nothing else away as she stood. "I should go. It's getting late."

"Don't leave on my account," Kanan said, as Hera said, "Don't go."

Her mouth quirked. "All right. Who's for more caf?"

"Thanks," he said, and took a seat on the couch close to Hera's chair while she went into the galley. Only then did he notice both of them already had steaming mugs. "You don't need to bother," he added.

"It isn't a bother." She seemed to know her way around their galley perfectly.

He looked at Hera, who took a drink from her own mug. "I could leave if you two want to go back to talking about me." He'd intended it as a joke but guilt spiked again from her and flashed over her face. He could go in for another joke to lighten the air and let her know he wasn't upset. Ahsoka had stopped moving in the galley, standing where she could see him but he couldn't see her.

He should have told her to go. He could talk to Hera. They'd used up their arguments years ago, and he knew how far he could push her and how far he'd let her push him as they tugged each other towards honesty. Ahsoka was a stranger. Almost a stranger. He remembered her name, and a much-younger face amid a crowd of other Padawan learners older than his own friends. He didn't carry his old name, and he looked little like the scrawny boy she might not remember at all. Not a stranger, but not a friend.

He felt another electric spark go through his body: his legs this time. He kept the quick pain off his face.

Ahsoka brought in a third mug and set it on the holotable in front of him. She hadn't asked which one was Kanan's but she'd known. "Thank you," he said, uncomfortable as she retook her seat at the other end of the curved bench. She looked past him to Hera.

Hera asked, "How bad is it, love?"

"I'm fine. A few twinges. Those Imperial pain droids sting." He rubbed his head. "The doc said I'll be fully recovered in a week or so. Nothing to worry about."

Ahsoka said, "We've heard rumors about the new interrogator droid models, though you're the first person we've got who's encountered one and lived to tell about it."

"Story of my life." The jokes were getting sharper. He'd wind up cutting himself soon if he wasn't careful. He grabbed his mug and took a long, hot drink. Not bad but not the way he usually took it. He felt a little relieved that she didn't know everything about their home.

She continued, "Of course we'd like to debrief you later."

He managed to get the mug back on the table without spilling it. The pain had gone on for hours, days, as the Imperials asked him questions he couldn't answer. Numbers of Rebel cells. Troop strengths. Identities of their leaders. He hadn't known anything and they'd pushed him harder, told the droid to go to Level Two interrogation techniques, then Level Three.

His vision was only gone for a split second before returning, focusing on the hot mug and the sounds of the ship, and the echo of the other ship, and the creak of Hera's chair as she sat up, moving closer to where he sat.

But he was fine.

"Sure."

"I'm sorry for what you went through," Ahsoka said. "You showed great courage by surviving until your friends could mount a rescue."

"Which they probably shouldn't have risked doing," he said with a half smile directed to Hera, who didn't return it.

"We almost didn't," she said, and her voice was tight. "I ordered the rest of the crew to stop searching for you. They went against my orders and found a lead. That's the only reason you're here now."

The self-recrimination was written all over her face. No wonder she felt guilty looking at him. Were they alone, he'd have moved closer to her and embraced her and told her everything was all right and he understood. They weren't alone, though, and he settled for saying, "It all worked out."

"You were following my orders, as I recall," Ahsoka said from the other end of the seat. "Which you then went against."

He could forgive Hera almost anything. Ahsoka was a different matter. He turned, and keeping his own voice level, he asked, "You ordered them not to come find me?"

"Yes. You'd chosen to sacrifice yourself for their safety. I thought it was reckless to risk their lives on a mission with little hope of success and great chance of losing Ezra in the process." She didn't blink, nor look away. She'd made a call based on sound logic Kanan himself didn't disagree with and she'd convinced Hera, all based on a rule drilled into them from years ago.

"Protect the younglings first."

She nodded. Hera felt terrible for making the decision she had. Ahsoka never would.

"Is that what you were talking about when I walked in?"

"It came up," Hera said. She'd confessed the worst to him, and read the forgiveness in his face. They could talk more later. In the meantime, the weight of that particular sorrow had ceased pressing her down and he was glad for that.

Ahsoka said, "We were discussing the fact that you don't trust me. Were you to discover on your own the events that led to your ordeal, you would trust me even less."

"I don't distrust you," he said. Demonstrating this, he picked up his mug and took a long drink. "See? I don't believe you would poison me."

"Your jokes aren't funny, dear."

"Yes, they are." He grinned at Hera until she rolled her eyes at him and sat back in her chair.

Ahsoka said, "I understand why you wouldn't trust me. That's part of why I kept my distance from Hera after you revealed yourself to be a Jedi. I knew you'd sense me if we came into proximity with one another, and I wasn't yet ready to have that part of my identity become common knowledge."

"You didn't know?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "Not until everyone else did."

He looked at Hera, who shrugged. "I relay information on a need to know basis. Fulcrum didn't need to know you were a Jedi. She only needed to know we could get our jobs done as we were given them. Then you came out in a big way, and we brought on Ezra, and it was better for the Rebellion to know since the Empire already did."

"I admit I was surprised," said Ahsoka. "I thought I'd tracked down the last traces of any surviving Jedi from the old days."

His heart rose with hope in his chest. "Did you find anyone else?" The hope faded even before she answered.

"No."

He nodded. It was easier than speaking.

"I have long held out hope that others are out there, hidden from the Empire's view as you and I were, and I've thought perhaps as your fame spreads, they might come out from hiding. But no one has."

"Ezra had a vision of Master Yoda."

"So I've heard." Before he could ask how, she continued, "Ezra told me. We spoke earlier today while you were elsewhere. He warned me you might try to convince me to take him on as my student. Apparently this is a habit of yours."

"Once! I thought about finding him a better master once! But Master Luminara was gone."

For a moment, Ahsoka's eyes were far away, remembering a different time. Kanan tried to follow her thoughts. She'd known Luminara, hadn't she? Things had gotten weird back at the Temple right around the time Master Billaba had taken him away from Coruscant. He'd heard little after that, and remembered less fifteen years on.

"I'm not passing him off to you. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried about that."

The thorn was buried inside her statement so deeply he almost didn't pick up on it. He was starting to understand that conversations with this woman would have three layers at minimum, and he'd better keep up. He considered what she'd said and gave the only reply he could.

"I'm fine."

"None of us are fine," Hera said. "You know that."

Okay, they were worried about him. Made sense. He'd been through a bad experience, but he hadn't revealed any Rebellion secrets because he'd never been privy to any. Everything else was a matter of allowing time for his nerves to heal. "I'm fine enough."

"I can help," Ahsoka said. "Unfortunately, I've become very skilled with treating trauma after Imperial interrogators have done their work." Sorrow lay on her face like a mask. She'd called him courageous for staying alive. He wondered what else she'd seen people survive. Again, he considered her words before speaking.

"I'm not traumatized. I've got a little residual nerve damage. I'm sure you've seen a lot worse."

"I'm sure you have as well, which is another issue. After a while, we carry enough horrors that we can't lift another finger. I've lived through many of the same horrors you have, and the only thing I'm sure of is that more are in store for us both."

"You're not sleeping," Hera said. "I don't think you've been meditating. You've been awake for the last two nights prowling around your cabin or out here, and tonight will make three. I could hear you pacing."

"I didn't mean to keep you up. Sorry."

"I gave you space assuming you'd eventually tell me what's wrong, but you haven't." She was full of worry again, as much as she liked to hide the worst of it, and she hadn't asked him directly because of her own blame and doubt. Good to know he was going through life with someone who was just as messed up as he was.

Ahsoka said, "You said the Inquisitor delved into your mind while you were captured."

Cold moved through him. "Yeah."

"Are you certain he didn't leave anything behind when he left?"

"He's dead." He'd said there were worse things than death. He hadn't slipped and fallen, he'd let go.

Kanan rubbed his head again.

"I'm fine," he said, for the thousandth time. If he went for one thousand and one, maybe he'd start believing it himself.

"I can look," Ahsoka said. She stayed at her end of the seat, unthreatening, as though she was afraid of spooking him. How bad off did she think he was if she was this concerned about not scaring him?

"I appreciate the offer." He looked at Hera. "Did you tell her I ought to have my head examined? Because I thought that was one of our little jokes, not a diagnosis."

"Hera's exact words were that you'd never go for it and there was no point in asking."

Hera smiled tightly.

"Then we're agreed," Kanan said, and got to his feet. "I'll get back to my room. You two can keep chatting."

"Who were you?"

The question cut through the room. Ahsoka's voice had stayed calm and soothing throughout the conversation and now, under all the layers, he heard something new. She'd searched for years to find others like her, yet she'd stayed away after she'd found out about him. She'd said she didn't want him sensing what she was before she was ready to reveal herself as Fulcrum, but now that she had, he could feel the longing radiate off her like heat. She'd been alone, and she knew that he must be an old acquaintance, but Kanan had buried his past and she couldn't uncover it alone.

Nor had she been given help. He turned to Hera again, who still sat, still watched him. "I figured you would have told her by now."

"Need to know basis," she repeated. "Your secrets are yours."

He didn't quite look at Ahsoka as he said, "Caleb. I remember you. My Master and I were away from Coruscant when things got bad for you, and we were still away when the purge happened."

He felt her eyes on him, examining his face, imagining him with a high, cracking voice, surrounded by other children as their groups passed each other in corridors, heading to their own lessons, or to play, slotting him into place. If he hadn't been looking for it, he would not have been able to sense her quiet disappointment as she confirmed he was not a friend she'd held dear, but was instead a barely-known schoolmate.

"The boy with all the questions. You drove Master Obi-Wan and Master Windu to distraction." Her lips quirked in an amused memory.

"That was a long time ago."

"A lifetime for some. I'm sorry if I've offended you, Caleb. There were many people towards the end who didn't have a positive opinion of me. I had to be careful in case you were one of them."

"It's Kanan now, thanks. That other name belonged to a little kid I haven't seen around in years. And there's nothing to forgive. Like you said, careful." He let out a breath, focusing on the muscles contracting and expanding his lungs. Master Yoda's first lesson to the younglings under his care: when all seemed hopeless, confusing, frightening, or strange, first they should focus on breathing. The body knew what it needed to survive. The mind would follow.

His mind had found focus, a terrible clarity that frightened and confused him, strangely peaceful in the loss of hope. Ezra had fallen to what Kanan had believed at that moment was his death, and from the loss, Kanan had found the single-minded purpose he'd lacked all this time. He'd bested the Inquisitor with the hollowness left behind by his failure, honed to an empty razor's edge made all the sharper from dividing by nought.

But revenge was not the Jedi way.

"He got to me." At both confused looks, he added, "The Inquisitor. He pushed me past where I thought I'd ever go. I don't think he left anything behind when he was noodling around in my brain, but I'm having trouble getting past what he turned me into. I thought he'd killed Ezra, and all I felt was cold. I've killed people before. I never killed someone because I wanted them to die." He met Ahsoka's eyes, a little worried what he'd see there. Sleep escaped him. Calm escaped him. For the first time in his life, he'd felt what power he could grasp if he gave into grief and anger, and he was afraid.

Although he was positive she was not reading his mind, he could feel Ahsoka taking in the things he'd finally said out loud and the things he couldn't bring himself to say. She understood on a level few others could.

"The Dark Side is as much a living presence as the rest of the Force," she said. "It curls around those of us with power, waiting for an opening. Master Obi-Wan always said emotion was its easiest way inside, that opening ourselves with attachments created cracks where the Dark Side slithered in. Jealousy. Fear of loss. Vengeance."

He folded his arms. "I sat in on that lecture, too. Master Yoda was the one who gave it to my class. Honestly, I think they were wrong."

The kid he used to be shrank away. Questioning the core tenets of the Order was not the job for some half-trained child, but as she'd pointed out, questions had always been his thing.

"I've wondered that myself," Ahsoka said after a moment. "I can see the logic. Once you've opened yourself to caring about one person before all others, the thought of losing that person becomes unbearable. When we have the fate of the galaxy in our hands, the life of one being, no matter how beloved, cannot change the balance of the decision." He went to argue with her, and was stopped by a raised hand. "Which is why it always seemed to me the better path was to care for many, rather than just for one. Jedi fell for the sake of a single lover, but others were saved by the love of a family."

Again he needed to unpack the words she said and did not say, decide what she knew and did not know. She'd been Hera's only contact with the Rebellion for years, sending her missions, meeting with her at rare necessity. They would have talked. They'd been talking for the last few days. What Ahsoka had not been told directly about the workings of their ragtag little group, she had inferred, and she did not judge what she'd found as he'd worried she might. He'd had to be careful, too.

Another tension loosened.

It occurred to him that trust was something neither of them had been able to afford for a long time, except among the most select of company. Only recently had he felt comfortable opening up to the others in their crew, and the only person who knew all his secrets sat in silence now, watching the two of them. He had no idea who Ahsoka had to trust and confide in, if anyone.

Trust was something you earned by giving it away.

"You said you could look inside my head and see if he left something behind."

"Yes."

"I never got that far in my training."

"You never would have. Most Jedi can learn basic telepathy, but only a few species have the knack for this particular work. Master Shaak Ti had to give me lessons. My Master was human and couldn't."

She could help him, but he couldn't learn how, nor pass it on. How much other wisdom had passed out of all knowing? What training did each have that the other never knew existed, and how much more could they discover by working together?

"All right," he said with a deep sigh. "What do I have to do?"

Ahsoka smiled, while Hera's face grew more serious. "Are you sure about this?" He wasn't sure if she was asking him or Ahsoka.

"Better to know and do something about it than not, right?"

She nodded her agreement, but the worry stayed.

Ahsoka said, "How well can Ezra sense your presence and your moods?"

"Pretty well. His powers are growing every day."

She stood. "Then first, we will retire to the other ship. I don't think there will be much psychic spillover, but I'd prefer he be further away from us if there is." She headed towards the airlock.

Hera squeezed his hand and said, "I'll leave the hatch unlocked. Close it when you get back."

"I was hoping you'd come with us," he said.

"Jedi stuff is your thing."

"Normally, yeah, but I'd feel better with you there."

Ahsoka said, "You still don't trust me."

"It's not you that I don't trust. If the Inquisitor left something nasty behind that activates while you're digging around, you don't know me well enough to be sure I'm the one who wakes up. Hera knows me better than anybody. She'll be able to tell." And, he thought, reading the same thought behind Hera's eyes, he trusted her to blast him if she thought what he'd become needed shooting.

"I'll come along."

Ahsoka said, "It won't be interesting to watch, but of course you're welcome to observe. You may want to bring something to read while you're waiting."

"I'll be right back," she said, and dashed towards her quarters. She came back two minutes later with a small carryall bag hung on her shoulder, large enough to hold a couple of datapads. 

They crossed the umbilical to the other ship. Kanan was not a fan. The Rebel cruiser was too brightly lit, not like the cozy half-powered glow that kept the _Ghost_ from draining all her power. The other ship sprawled, and its central meeting areas were clean, stark, and impersonal, with no spontaneously painted art decorating the walls or left over washing up in the galley. They passed Rebels in uniform, who gave them professionally cool glances and nods as they reached Ahsoka's small cabin. Their own ship had a clothes refresher that threatened to die every other week.

Even in here, personal touches were few. The narrow bunk was bolted to one wall. A desk held a few mechanical pieces Kanan didn't get a look at. Only the floor showed signs of life: she'd spread and folded fabric into a thick cushion in the center of the room, and this at least looked slept-in, unlike the bare mattress on the bunk.

Ahsoka knelt on the makeshift rug and bid Kanan do the same as Hera sat on the bunk and tried not to disturb them.

They began with breathing. The body knew what it needed. Kanan had not been able to clear his mind enough to settle into a trance state, but that didn't matter. As he forced himself to concentrate on the movement of air in and out of his body, he felt Ahsoka's hand touch his temple, and felt her ask permission to enter his thoughts. He had shared thoughts before, long ago, and after a moment's recollection, he remembered how to unlock the way in.

He opened himself.

Her mind was strange to him, full of angles where he expected curves, and spirals where he might expect tidy lines. He saw the tiny child she had been when she'd left her home, and like holos stacked atop one another, he saw all the stages of her life through her youth to now. He had no means of stopping her from picking through any particular memory of his own, and that knowledge alone was enough to pull up a few he didn't necessarily want to share. Embarrassment was a small thing which died quickly inside this intense intimacy.

They went deeper.

He cracked open the shell he'd built over his ordeal, and allowed her to view the sticky mess that oozed out. The droid floated before him, all electrodes and needles. The Grand Inquisitor grinned with fanged teeth as his face filled the toom. "Tell me everything," he thought he heard her say, but it was in the cultured, cutting voice of his nightmares. Stormtroopers guarded him, melting into clone troopers, turning from his joking friends into killers, while the Inquisitor peeled back the layers of his brain and Depa shouted at him to run.

Kanan trembled without motion as Ahsoka plucked through his memories of the last week, wanting to twist away from the fresh pain she dredged up and sifted through. Enduring the hallucinatory agony once had been enough.

He felt a polite shove from her, a mental push out of his own past and into hers, landing him inside a particular sun-bright day spent in restful meditation and light play back at the Jedi Temple with her friends, before everything went wrong. She recalled details he'd forgotten, like the pattern of the stones in the garden wall, and the way the voices of the other children cascaded into one another in a wave of familiar noise. Behind the high, safe walls, he felt her still picking her way around his more recent experiences. She had offered him distance and time between those new days, and the old ones they had spent back in their shared home. He grinned, feeling the sense-memory of the happy day as she ran, long legs easily keeping up with another girl, a warm smell of food cooking in the great kitchens wafting in on the breeze. He walked through the memory, pausing to examine the texture of the fine gravel under his feet, lingering on the faces of the other younglings as he picked out friends they both remembered and mourned. Her friend's high laugh filled the air, and Ahsoka reached her, the two falling to the ground in unJedilike giggles.

The second girl changed, and shifted into new faces, one after another: friends and acquaintances she'd met over the years, and the simple affection to gentle love Ahsoka had felt for each one burst through in colors indescribable to visible sight. Moments flickered, from other warm days to passionate nights locked in embrace, even fantasies she'd never spoken of. Kanan wanted to draw back and offer some last shred of privacy. Some thoughts were too personal for her to share with someone she'd just met.

"It's fine," she said, and he became aware that she had spoken the words aloud, that she was sitting across from him and was talking to him normally. The link lessened, and they withdrew from each other gradually, like walking up the beach from out of the sea.

He blinked the last of the vision from his eyes, and saw Ahsoka with that same mischievous smirk he was coming to enjoy.

He went to say "Sorry" and stopped himself. There was no point in apologizing for having read her mind. That had been the point of the exercise. "And?"

Ahsoka's amusement deepened. "Dark Side, hm?"

"What did you find?"

"Nothing." She didn't roll her eyes at him but he was sure that was because she was deliberately keeping herself from doing so. "I admit I was worried, but now having seen inside your head, I know you are as likely to go to the Dark Side as you are to grow a third arm." The eye roll wasn't the only thing she was keeping in. Ahsoka was trying not to laugh at him.

"I don't understand. I felt the cold. I wanted revenge."

"And neither had any power over you. I have met non-sapient invertibrates with more Dark Side in them than you. You're an innocent." She read the growing offense in his gaze, and she said, "You have a good heart. Be glad. Not everyone can say the same."

"Two things. First, I am definitely no innocent. Second, you got the same lectures I did when we were kids. Anyone can fall."

"Anyone can, but only when the temptation is too great. You have people surrounding you who care for you, and you for them. The easy path doesn't have any allure for you because all the people you love are along the hard one, and you are far too attached to them to let yourself stray. It's the opposite of what we were taught, but it clearly has worked well for you. Should you guide your Padawan on the same path, we can hope for the same outcome."

"And the Inquisitor didn't leave any triggers inside him?" Hera asked. She'd kept silent watch, no datapad in sight although his internal clock told him they'd been sitting for hours. Her carryall was close at her hand, and for the first time, he realized she'd used the excuse to bring her blaster along while hiding it out of sight. Just in case.

"None that I could find, and I checked as thoroughly as I dared." She paused, and the remnant of their connection whispered her thought, that there was something else she wanted to say to him, but in private.

Kanan said aloud, "There's nothing you can say to me that you can't say in front of her. I don't have any secrets from Hera, and when I do, she always finds out anyway."

"Yes, I do."

"You don't have to sound so smug about it."

"I was just agreeing with you while stating a fact, dear."

Ahsoka looked between them, more amused than concerned. She had read his mind, after all.

"You're not fine. He ripped into your mind, and he gave no care to the damage he inflicted along the way. You'll heal. Merely allowing me to enter your thoughts after that kind of attack is already helping you mend. But it will take time. The pain droid's effects have left your body. Your brain is fighting off imaginary attacks. That's the pain you've been feeling. It's why you can't sleep. I never advanced enough in my own lessons to learn how to heal someone, only to see what's happened. I know you'll recover. I'm sorry I can't help you more."

"You've helped a lot, thanks." He gave her a friendly smile, and ignored the tingling in his hands. He'd forgotten about the pain until she'd mentioned it.

Hera asked, "What can we do?"

"Have patience." Another answer hovered at the edge of her thoughts, and again, he picked up on it, then wished he hadn't. She had surely not meant to share that one with him. She'd read his mind, and he'd seen into hers, and he was going to need a very cold shower when he got back to the ship. No. The mind had control over the body. He breathed, telling his various systems that now was not the time.

Ahsoka rested her hand, brushing his folded legs casually. He was going to need two showers. Then he would have to explain to Hera why he'd taken two cold showers.

Ahsoka said, "You're going red. Are you having another attack?"

"No!"

Hera said, "No, I know that expression." She glanced at Ahsoka. "You just read his mind. Now you know what he's like." She let out a fake long-suffering sigh.

"Hey, that wasn't _my_ thought." And that, he realized two seconds too late, was the wrong thing to say, as Ahsoka lost her smile and Hera focused her full attention on him. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine," said Ahsoka. "I should apologize. You had no means of knowing we'd still be hearing each other's thoughts for a while." She closed her eyes for a moment, then turned to Hera. "I was considering that there are more pleasant ways to reset someone's nervous system, and retrain thoughts into better pathways."

Hera said, "I've read a number of psychology texts, and I can't say I ever came across sex as a trauma cure." Her deadpan humor was one of the many things he liked about her, but he wasn't sure Ahsoka got it.

"I wasn't suggesting a cure. More like a temporary aid. One or two treatments should be sufficient." No, she got it perfectly.

The mind caught up with what the body had already figured out. He looked at Hera and cleared his throat. "We should get back to the ship."

"You should stay here," Ahsoka said.

"That was my thought, too," said Hera. "The last time we tried to have sex aboard the _Ghost_ , Ezra thought we were under attack." That had been less than fun, but Kanan had learned how fast he could get his pants back on, and also how fast the kid's powers were growing.

"I thought as much. That's why I suggested we come to this ship instead."

It occurred to him that he was coming in late on their conversation again. "Wait. What?" He saw Hera dig into her carryall, and his worry increased. She pulled out her blaster, then set it aside. Then she pulled out other things. His eyes widened as he recognized them. "Hold on. Were you planning this?"

"We'd discussed it, although I wouldn't go as far to say we made a plan." Ahsoka took his hand, and she was right about one thing. The jolt of electricity running through him wasn't anything like the nerve pain he'd been experiencing.

A couple of brain cells in the far back of his head told him he was still locked up, that this was all some trick by his tormentor or a complex hallucination brought on by too much stress. A couple more cells pointed out that was no reason not to enjoy it. The rest of his brain was having trouble focusing, until he met Hera's eyes and found his anchor point. She waited for him to react, for him to agree or to decline, giving him space to make a decision she'd already gone over with Ahsoka without him present. She'd been fine with sending him alone here with Ahsoka, trusting them both to make whatever choices they had to. She wouldn't force him into something he didn't want, but she'd walk over hot coals to help him find what he needed.

He could focus in on one thing at a time. He looked down at their joined hands and up at Ahsoka again. "Full truth time: you're not interested in men. I saw."

"I'm not interested in many men," she corrected. "You didn't see everything. Full truth: I like you, and this doesn't have to mean anything more than that."

She let him see as she moved closer. As before, she was careful not to startle him as she leaned in for a soft kiss. Her breath was sweet, and she tasted strange. He'd never kissed anyone of her species before. She tilted her head in a way he knew well, and he matched, letting her deepen the kiss. Humans and near-humans tended to be similar when it came to getting naked and getting friendly, but he was out of his depth wondering how "near" Ahsoka was to "near-human."

The other near-human in the room took an audible breath. Kanan broke the kiss immediately, but instead of any kind of complaint, he saw only the high flush on Hera's cheeks as she watched them. "You should do that again," she said, and if he didn't know her so well, he wouldn't have heard the tremble of excitement.

"Orders," he said to Ahsoka with a smile, and she kissed him more deeply, hand resting against his neck. With care, he placed his hands on her arms, the deep strength of her muscles firm against his fingers. He'd always had a thing for powerful women, and that interest was not going away anytime soon. For her part, he could not only feel Ahsoka smiling against him as her mouth moved and her tongue stroked the edges of his lips, but he also felt the amusement and curiosity in her mind. He'd never been with someone else who could use the Force, and the little he'd seen inside her head suggested the same. The presence of her mind in his, and his awareness of the rest of her powers, opened some extra possibilities.

He gave another look to the bunk. This was not a stateroom designed for luxury, but a utilitarian space for one person to sleep and work alone. They might get two people into the bunk if they squeezed but even the bunks back on their ship were larger. Besides, Hera was already using this one as a table, pulling off her gloves and setting out the items she'd brought.

Ahsoka gestured at the cushioned floor. "I sleep here."

Hera said, "I don't expect we'll get much sleep."

The 'we' part of her statement, and the assortment of private things she'd stashed in her bag, finally caught up with him. Yes, they must have talked about this. Yes, Hera would have had no problem with staying back on the _Ghost_. Yes, she was here now and had come planning to spend the night.

For one hot minute, he really hoped Ahsoka wasn't reading his thoughts right now. Bad enough he was sure they were written all over his face.

"What are the ground rules?" he asked, his lips already numb and clumsy with anticipation. "I don't know anything about your species. I don't know what you're expecting."

"You're good at asking questions. Ask them when you need to. The only expectation I have is that tomorrow, we return to our duties."

Hera said, "Agreed," before Kanan could respond, and that was for the best. He didn't follow her orders 100% of the time, but things generally worked out better when he did.

"Okay."

They all wore clothes for their practical comfort rather than fashion. He had a bright memory, his own rather than recently borrowed, of a much-younger Togruta girl wearing a midriff-revealing shirt and high skirt, before he'd been old enough to take real notice. The garments she wore as an adult were no less lovely on her, but had been chosen for ease of movement and long wear during her travels. She guided Kanan's hands as they removed each piece now, and he let the easy familiarity of being with another person guide the rest of him, pressing kisses into the orange skin he uncovered. He hadn't known her long enough to be disturbed by dreams of this, so he took his time now, giving his future dreams plenty of material to work with down the road.

Behind him, he felt movement, and the heat of Hera's clever hands riding up under his shirt, tugging it free before she stroked the muscles of his shoulders. She knew the ticklish places on his back, and where he liked her to rub hard with the balls of her thumbs, and he allowed himself to enjoy those touches now as he laced kisses down Ahsoka's neck.

Ahsoka finished the work with his shirt that Hera had started, moving him away long enough to tug it over his head. She pulled him closer until they were skin to skin. Her mouth nibbled playfully into his as her sharp nails stroked down his arms.

He wanted to look, and settled for feeling as his hands explored her. He remembered the history lectures from his earliest schooling, the current and past theories of why so many species in the galaxy seemed to have evolved with some mammalian traits and not with others. Wookiees were covered with fur, for one example, though Kanan had met a few full-blooded humans who needed a shave just as much. He'd spent the last several years of his life studying Twi'lek anatomy and he prided himself on passing the practical examination every time. Twi'leks lacked hair anywhere on their bodies, and his fingers danced over a similar smoothness as he learned the planes and curves of Ahsoka's body. This close, he could make out what seemed to the eye to be flawless skin was in fact made up of the tiniest of orange scales, and the same covered her montrals and her head-tails. The shape of her body wasn't much different from human, and she arched with the same gasping delight with his hands found her small, firm breasts. The sensitive skin he found there was softer than the orange flesh of her arms. He broke away from kissing her mouth to press his lips between them, feeling her heart racing as he traced the curve of each breast with his tongue before finding his way back to her amused curl of her smile against his.

Hera had stopped massaging his back, and she'd reached around him to unfasten his pants. Not letting go of Ahsoka, he wiggled his hips to help Hera slide them off, then startled as her hand wrapped hotly around him, her lips burning into the back of his neck.

"Hey," he said, unable to prevent the warmth flowing through him as Hera jerked her arm in the way he liked very much, thank you, with a loose but firm grasp in her strong hand. Ahsoka kissed him hard, cutting off his breath, and Kanan couldn't think.

"Trust me," Hera said into his ear, and she bit the lobe as she squeezed her hand. White heat pulsed through him and he moaned into Ahsoka's mouth, feeling the good shock run down his spine. Hera kept stroking until he was spent and too sensitive for touch. She withdrew her hand, wiping it on something out of sight.

Ahsoka stroked his face, kissing him more softly as he had trouble meeting her eyes. He'd hoped this would last longer.

She said, "Good idea. Now we can take our time."

Time. Right. She moved away from him, and let him recline on the floor. He took this chance to finish pulling off his pants. She still had her lower wrap on. Hera was completely dressed.

Ignoring him for the moment, Ahsoka took stock of Hera's display on the bunk. "Do you think we'll need all this?"

"No, but I wanted to give us some options."

Ahsoka picked up their newest toy. "I haven't seen one of these before."

"You have to know which market stalls to ask at. I was on a supply trip with Sabine and...."

"Stop talking," Kanan said. "Please. Never finish that sentence."

Hera sighed and Ahsoka set it down. "Is he often like this?"

"It's probably better this way, to tell you the truth." Hera's smile teased him.

"If we're done making fun of me," he teased back, "you're both still dressed." Ahsoka glanced down to her own exposed skin, but saw his point. She reached for the fastening of her lower wrap, which slid down her legs with a soft slither. She wore no undergarments. The orange skin lightened below her belly, and grew tinged with a deep rosy warmth between her legs.

He wasn't ready to go again yet but he did feel a pleasant thrum of interest as he watched her appreciatively. She turned to Hera, and his mouth went dry as she kissed her, fingers easily finding the clasps of Hera's jumpsuit. His interest was resurfacing fast, and he knew he'd be happy to rest here and watch them half the night. When would he ever have the chance again? They'd scold him for making comments now, and he could only imagine the shared expressions of annoyance if he were to point out the lovely contrast of orange against green as Ahsoka helped Hera slide off her clothes and cap, or as they laced their fingers together. He wisely kept his mouth shut and his eyes open.

There was enough space left on the bunk for Hera to sit, and Ahsoka coaxed her down, using her hands to spread her legs before kneeling and pressing her face between them. Along the same tenuous thread between them, he sensed Ahsoka's curiosity and her arousal. She'd wanted to do this for a long, long time. Kanan drank in the sight for a while before closing his eyes and sending Ahsoka a very clear mental image. Her amusement radiated back at him, and a request for any other helpful advice he had to offer. _There,_ he thought at her, _and there. She likes that._ He opened his eyes to see the sudden flush over Hera's body, and to enjoy her swallowed scream.

The sight of Ahsoka sitting back on her heels, wiping her mouth with her own arm, would stick with him for the rest of his life.

"Thank you," Ahsoka said.

Hera, getting her breath back, asked, "Are you two communicating telepathically? Because so far, I like it."

"For the moment," Ahsoka said. "It's an after-effect that I expect will fade in a few hours."

"Here's to taking advantage of the effect now." Hera slumped to the cushion.

"Hear hear," said Kanan. The only part of her he could reach from this position was her foot, so he stroked her toe with his thumb affectionately.

"I open the floor to your suggestions," said Ahsoka in a prim voice, folding her arms. This had the side effect of pushing against her breasts, which was another sight he intended to file away for later. He got to his feet, and felt his legs twinge with another reminder of the pain droid's unwholesome touch. He went to the bunk, and enjoyed the feel as Hera stroked his leg lazily, always fascinated by the hairs she found. She tickled then kissed his knee while he examined what she'd brought.

He grasped one toy, and it was not a coincidence that he held this one like his lightsaber. Having seen the interesting handle choices other Jedi had made with their own, he knew he was by far not the first person to consider other uses. Searching the HoloNet, he'd even discovered, more or less by accident, niche sites dedicated to kinking on Jedi and what the site owners believed, or wanted to believe, they were capable of, given the average porn producer's special effects budget and limited imagination.

Ahsoka still knelt beside the bunk, watching him. Kanan crouched beside her and kissed her, pulling the last of the sweet flavor from her lips. "Lie back," he said.

She tensed before complying. She'd seen herself as in charge of tonight's activities, and he had every intention of letting her keep as much control as she wanted. But he did want to try this.

The device activated with his thumb, humming in his hand. He ran it down her neck, following with his mouth, and spent time vibrating against the swell of each soft breast. She squirmed, but he could tell when it started to tickle, and drew back. He drew circles down her stomach, kissing her mouth as he did, and drew it down farther.

"Let me feel what you do," he said, and she nodded, spreading her thighs.

She wasn't human. He traced the vibrating toy down the delta between her legs, and drank in the novel sight of what he found. Bumps and ridges, small yet engorging with blood as he stroked, surrounded a tight cloaca. Inside her mind, he felt the humming tip touch each aching receptor, pulling his hand back before she could hiss with overstimulation. When he bent down to place a suckling kiss on the most prominent, the tremors running through her echoed inside him with a frisson of desire.

"Was that...?" he asked, but already he could hear the thought that no, it wasn't. Her species went through a series of pleasant small peaks, sometimes accompanied by a larger one. She'd read so in a datareel during her early education. None of her own lovers had been Togruta, leaving her only her experiences with and without a partner to base her knowledge upon.

He licked at another ridge, and felt her happy, bubbling pleasure at each touch. When he tasted her in one place while using the toy against the largest bump, now so far engorged it stood almost two centimeters up from her body, she let out a long moan.

Hera shifted, moving from where she'd been resting to sit beside her friend. She couldn't fit beside him, not with Kanan busy at his own work. Instead, her fingers reached down, and she flicked against another ridge while Kanan lapped deep inside her, the humming toy loud in his ear. Ahsoka whined, which muffled in Hera's mouth as they kissed again, her body twitching in more small peaks. They reverberated into him, driving away all thoughts of pain, the force of her pleasure washing through their mental link pushing away his psychic ache from the recent attack.

Kanan suckled the tight, high bump into his mouth, luxuriating in the instant feedback and knowing how good that was for her. He pulled off with a pop, watching as Hera's fingers slid into her, then traced wet patterns over her orange skin, sending shivers through her. She twisted her hand, slipping the fingertips into his mouth to offer him another taste, and Kanan passed that back through the link as he licked her fingers clean.

Fire lit Ahsoka's eyes, only made more powerful by their touches. "We should make a note of exploring this mental bonding again sometime."

"Happy. Any time. Let me know." He gave himself a quick squeeze. He was ready, but not too ready thanks to his quick, hot finish before. "I want you. I don't know if that's too much to ask, but I need to say it." Inside her head, he felt her desire.

"Yes." She sent the assent with emotion. His own eyes went to Hera for a moment, but as before, he found no remonstrance there, nor jealousy, only a calculating desire of her own. He knew that face, and he knew what it meant. A jolt of pure lust flickered through his veins.

"Oh yes please," he said.

She kissed Ahsoka again, then went to the bunk. Kanan stroked the back of one finger against Ahsoka's genitals, blowing a cool breath against what he could only think of as her clitoris before taking it into his mouth again, enjoying the soft gasps she made. Then he rubbed it between his fingers as his body moved over hers to kiss her.

Her hands pushed his shoulders, shoving him against the cushion. She straddled his hips, her face frozen as he guided the tip of his cock into her tight entrance. Deep inside her mind, he felt the fear, and he stopped, waiting for her to relax.

 _You can say no,_ he thought to her. _You can always say no._

She adjusted her hips down onto him, driving him deep into her. Kanan bit down his groan, grateful for his earlier orgasm. He didn't often pop like a schoolboy having a wet dream these days, but if he'd attempted this gripping heat earlier, this would have been over in seconds. His nerves tingled in pleasure, thrilling him.

Behind him, he heard the click of Hera attaching the belt she wore to hold his favorite toy.

Eager but wanting to hold back, he thrust slowly up into Ahsoka, relishing the clutch of her body around him, and the way he felt inside her as he moved. They shared the feelings between them, instantly shifting into better positions as he watched her rise and fall over him.

Ahsoka turned her head to watch Hera. "This will work better if we change places."

Reluctantly, he withdrew, helping her to her back. The angles were all different now as he slid into her again, and they clasped hands, too caught up in mental communion as they found a new rhythm together.

A cool slick drop dripped onto his back at the crack of his bottom, followed by a warmer drop, and one firm fingertip rubbing it into the tight muscle there before slipping into him. Kanan froze, watching the look on Ahsoka's face, seeing through her eyes the changing features of his own. This wasn't a game they played often, with the gentle stretch and crook of Hera's fingers opening him, teasing the nerves she knew from past exploration. Sex got complicated enough when navigating different species through the basics. More involved play, while fun as hell, required time and patience, and these days, a safe distance from the other sleeping quarters aboard the ship. There were only so many excuses they could come up with for taking the _Phantom_ out for the night, and he knew they weren't fooling anyone when they did.

Hera placed the tip of the slicked-up rubberene toy into him, and pushed inside with slow deliberation as he adjusted, pushing and bearing down. Thick swears found his lips and were kissed away. It had been a while since they'd done this, her driving into him while he sobbed and begged for more. He felt a faint vibration that suggested the pulses were much stronger in the compartment where she'd attached the toy to her belt.

Now his nerves sang, from the wet clench on his cock to the thick, blunt rubberene stretching and filling him where he liked it most. He let Ahsoka feel both as they moved faster, driven on by the shared perceptions. She braced her feet on the floor to meet his movements while they searched for the perfect angle. Hera draped her body over his back, thrusting into him so deeply he could almost taste the toy in his mouth.

He wanted to hold onto this. He wanted to remember this moment.

Logical thought grew more difficult as his synapses focused on the physical sensations. The body knew what it needed, and the mind would be happy to lounge in hazy stupidity with no other thought than how good this all felt. But he'd learned over the years that putting forth the effort to make it good for everyone made the whole experience better, and as such was well worth kicking his lazier neurons into gear. He kissed the woman in his arms, then slid his fingers into her mouth. She bit at them as she licked. He dropped his hand between himself and Ahsoka, finding the small nub of flesh and stroking it lightly between two fingers and his thumb.

The moment stretched, and Kanan felt everything: Hera buried deep inside him, himself balls-deep in Ahsoka, the edge of pain thickness of his cock as Ahsoka felt it, and his own hand stroking her in uneven time with the rest.

More little peaks rushed through Ahsoka. He felt how close she was, how close he was. Another few strokes of his hand, and Ahsoka threw back her head, shouting in a language he didn't know but whose meaning was very clear. Kanan pushed on, nearly there, focusing on how the quakes inside her rumbled into him and tightened on him with a wet vise grip, reveling in the clench of his own body around the thick phallus and the good, steady strokes driving it into him. 

Suddenly his mind was open again, not just the pleasant touches they'd been sharing, but the full strength of Ahsoka's presence occupying the same space as his own thoughts. Part of him recoiled in fear, expecting the pain of the Inquisitor's violent touch. Rather than agony, she stared into his eyes and dropped the full, pulsing ball of her own intense joy into him, splashing through him, washing away all fear of being hurt again. His body burned with white-hot need, and his psyche consumed what she gave him, drinking in pleasure like heady wine.

There had been nights when they had time and energy, two things they lacked too often these days, when Kanan used similar physical tricks to those he'd been taught as a youngling for far different purpose. The body wanted but the mind could restrain. He'd learned he could hold himself for an hour or more at this one good tipping point, putting the unbelievably good time towards getting his partner off as many times as he could while he radiated with need delayed.

Tonight was a space set aside from time, and his energy had been sapped and replenished and was almost spent. He let go, falling into the heat with a hoarse cry, while every cell of his body sizzled with wonderful electricity. On the very best nights, he could crack open enough of a doorway in his head to let Hera see and feel what he did, and he opened now. Ahsoka wrapped herself like a cat in the feeling, her body still writhing in its own extended delight. Hera touched the drawn out note, unable to grasp but close enough to push her over the edge a second time, her lips pressed against his shoulders mouthing words they both knew and never spoke aloud.

For a while, they didn't move apart, each too caught up in the pleasant after-echoes to want to break the moment. Kanan nuzzled Ahsoka's cheek, feeling her muscles move into a tired smile before she kissed him again.

Hera disengaged first, careful not to hurt him as she pulled out. His jaw snapped shut, aching in the weird vulnerability he always felt when they did this, and when they were done. She unsnapped the buckle and dropped the harness to the bunk. He felt her hand stroke his hip in affectionate petting as she found a comfortable place to rest on the cushion close to them.

Ahsoka touched his face and gave him a look that said he ought to pull out now. With a little effort, he tugged himself free, and rolled onto his back beside her. Everything tingled in the very best ways, though he could tell not everything was fixed. His nerves held the memory of pain, and they would remind him again. But not tonight.

He realized he could no longer hear her thoughts. "I think the link faded."

Ahsoka chuckled deep in her throat. "We broke it with that last part."

Hera rested her head on his arm. "Does this mean you'll have to communicate the old fashioned way for the next round?"

Kanan kissed her bare head. "We'll have to try different powers next time. I've been practicing levitating objects. I bet I could hold one of you in the air, let someone else be in the middle. That could be fun."

Ahsoka said, "I'll handle any levitations next time. You need more practice. But I'll be happy to teach you." She rested against him, and with a wave of her finger, she used the Force to bring them a blanket. Within moments, he was snug between them, warm as toast and more content than he'd been in a long time. A good, peaceful feeling stretched from his hair down to his toes.

"I'll be happy to learn," he said with a yawn. He closed his eyes, thinking he'd only rest them for a minute or two. Maybe three. Five at most. They ought to wash up, and that could be more fun, piling into the refresher's shower stall together. Later.

Hera said, "I should warn you. He snores."

"Do not." Ten minutes. Or fifteen. He breathed. The mind was at peace, and the body followed.


End file.
